Deep Cuts
by benmoody0220
Summary: UPDATED! CHAPTER 11 UP! Faith is a depressed girl who goes to Sunnydale high. She’s been used, abused, and picked on. Angel is an exchange student who comes to Sunnydale and falls in love with her. But will she feel the same?
1. Prologue: Bleeding for You, Except I Put

**Deep Cuts**

**Summary: Faith is a depressed girl who goes to Sunnydale high. She's been used, abused, and picked on. Angel is an exchange student who comes to Sunnydale and falls in love with her. But will she feel the same? Will he be able to save her? Faith/Angel**

Rating: **R**

Prologue-Bleeding for You, Except I Put the Wounds There 

Faith looked down at the new cut on her right arm, she watched the blood flow slowly out. She wiped her eyes as more tears streamed down them. She took the steak knife and made another cut, and made the cut parallel to the other one.

&&&&&&&&

Faith woke up at the sound of her mother screaming. She heard a glass shatter against the wall. 'Probably another beer bottle,' she thought as her mother kicked the door open.

"Get up! It's time for school!" Marjorie shouted beer bottle in hand.

"It's Saturday," Faith said pulling the sheets over her head.

"Then get out! It's Saturday, go out with your friends!" Marjorie shouted.

"Don't have any," Faith said as she snuggled into the blanket closer.

"Then just get the fuck out!" Majorie shouted.

"Go away you drunken whore," Faith shouted sitting up in bed.

"I will drag you out of here, I've done it before, remember?" Majorie shouted.

"Yeah, when I was six! I'm bigger now, just try to take me old woman!" Faith shouted. That's it, Majorie was pissed, she threw the bear bottle she was holding. Faith dodged it and grabbed some clothes, she ran into the adjoining bathroom. She quickly got dressed and headed for the front door, followed by Marjorie's screaming at her.

"Fuckin' bitch, fucking kick me out of my own fucking house," Faith said fully dressed in black clothing. She walked into the park, it was all too cheery, kids playing with their friends, and lover's walking hand in hand. She would never have any of that, she would probably die before she was twenty. Her mother would probably kill her in a drunken rage. Faith looked at the scars covering her arms, all red, some of them have healed, but the scars will remain. She liked to make herself bleed, it was the only way to numb the pain. And there was a lot of pain to be numbed.

Faith found an empty park bench, she made herself comfortable, she closed her eyes, and went into her dream world.

&&&&&&&&

Faith woke up, it was night. She had slept all day. She wasn't gonna go back home, not back there, she would rather stay out in the cold, and freeze to death. She actually wanted to die, she couldn't help it. Her life sucked.

&&&&&&&&

Angel stepped of the plane, and saw her aunt and uncle, waiting for him. 'Oh, fucking great,' he thought, 'time to put on a fake smile.'

He walked over to them. He heard all the complements before, but now he was hearing them again. "How handsome you are, ('no comment') you've gotten so much taller (no I didn't you've gotten shorter') how we've missed you ('bullshit!') You re gonna have suck a good stay ('what you're dying?') Your cousin has missed you so ('may I kill him?') We have so much to talk about ('no we don't.') Let's go home ('may I die first?')," they said all the complements they didn't mean, what they really wanted to say is: If you fuck up you're going back to Galway, get us pissed and we will beat you to the ground.

_Please review, I get really nervous about my writings so please review._


	2. Chapter 1: Trying To Survive

**Chapter 1: Trying To Survive**

Faith walked around the park, it was dark out. So dark she could barely see where she was going. She felt something pressed to her back.

"Move and die!' a male voice said. He put his hand over her mouth and pulled her into a nearby ally.

"Lose the clothes," he commanded.

"Shoot me!" she shouted back at him. He aimed the gun at her forehead, and pulled the trigger. But nothing happened, he pulled the trigger again, still nothing.

"Shooting blanks?" she said sarcastically.

He lunged at her, but she kicked him in the chest. He fell onto the ground, she dug her shoe into his neck and drew blood, and in a few minutes the man was unconscious. "Teach you to try to rape me," she said as she walked away.

Living her life the way she did, she had learned to take care of herself, but she was getting tired. She wanted to leave but she couldn't. Couldn't leave her life, she was fucked. She walked back to her house, and found the front door locked. Somehow, that didn't surprise her, she walked around the house and quietly slipped into her bedroom window. She fell asleep on her bed.

&&&&&&&&

Angel looked around his bedroom, it would be his for the next four months.

"Hey cuz'," Doyle said walking into his bedroom. 'God he's so fucking annoying,' he thought as he sat on the bed.

"What's…up?" Angel said trying to be polite.

"Dunno, thought I'd talk to you," Doyle said as he sat on the bed besides him.

"About…what?' he said trying so hard not to insult him.

"I dunno, stuff," Doyle said as he looked around the room, "ya know dad was gonna turn this into a weight room, ya know, before we heard you were comin'," Doyle said.

'Don't snap, don't snap,' Angel screamed in his head. "Uh…so that's my fault, because my family got sick of me and shipped me away?" Angel said as he broke his inward vow. 'Oh well, wouldn't be the first time I lied to myself.'

"Yup, just like you, still a cold hearted bastard, no change at all," Doyle said as he walked out of the room.

"Close the door!" Angel shouted as he left.

Doyle slammed the door, after that he heard Doyle's father shouting at him for slamming the door, Angel just laughed. As he listened to the fight brewing outside his door.

&&&&&&&&

2 days later…

Angel pulled up outside the school, Doyle got out the passenger side. They stood outside Sunnydale High. It was raining.

&&&&&&&&

Faith stood at her locked pulling out books as she listened to the kids making fun of her. She tried so hard not to flip out and give them what they wanted, the satisfaction of pissing her off. She grabbed her biology book, and slammed her locker shut. She walked to her class.

&&&&&&&&

Angel walked out of the front office. He walked towards his assigned locker. Locker 66, his lucky number 6, and twice too. He took a right and immediately ran into a girl. The girl bent down and picked up her books.

"Watch where you're going!' she shouted.

"Uh…sorry," Angel said as the girl walked away.

"Well, next time watch where you're fuckin' going," she screamed.

&&&&&&&&

Faith walked away, she didn't know who that was, but she hated him already. 'Probably another fuckin' rich kid,' she thought as she walked into a classroom.


	3. Chapter 2: Another Outcast

**Chapter 2: Another Outcast**

Faith sat in biology class, writing in her notebook. She sat next to Jonathan, the other geek in the school. Faith didn't like him, but she didn't let it show she pretended to be his friend. She listened while the other kids made fun of him.

"Quit it!" Jonathan said, his rage growing.

Spike laughed, "look the mama's boy is getting pissed," he laughed again.

"Mr. Bartelli!" Jonathan called.

"What, gonna tell on me?" Spike taunted.

"Yes, what is it Jonathan?" Mr. Bartelli sighed.

"Nothing," Jonathan replied giving into Spike's taunting.

Angel walked into the class.

"Oh, you must be Mr. O'Neal," Mr. Bartelli said.

"Yeah," Angel replied.

"Take the seat right next to Faith," Mr. Bartelli said.

"Who?" Angel asked.

"The girl with the dark hair," he said pointing to her.

Angel took the empty seat next to Faith.

'Fucking great' she thought.

"Quit it!" Jonathan yelled at Spike, Spike just laughed more.

&&&&&&&&

The bell rang signaling class was over, Jonathan and Faith walked into the hallway.

"Jackasses," Jonathan under his breath as Spike and his friends walked by.

"Ignore them," Faith said.

&&&&&&&&

_Excerpt from Faith's Note Book:_

_Exodus:_

_Death be delivered unto those who deserve it. _

_And to those who deserve it come quick and hideous death _

_Life be bestowed to those who want to live within it's walls of safety _

_And let their pain wash away._

_-End_

&&&&&&&&

Faith and Jonathan parted ways, she went to her locker, and he continued down the hall. He stopped at her locker, and suddenly a strong force pushed him into it. The door was locked and he was stuck.

"Call me a jackass."

&&&&&&&&

_Excerpt From Jonathan's Journal:_

_April 28th:_

_Pain and hate. Only things I know. Torture and rape. I don't want to live this life anymore. Constantly ignored, and picked on. Betrayed by all I trusted in, I don't want to be pushed this far. But what other escape is there? If there is a God above, please help me._

_-End_

&&&&&&&&

Jonathan walked into his classroom, Faith had gotten him out of his locker like she did every day. He sat down in his seat, and took out his notebook, he copied the notes on the board trying not to snap at the kids making fun of him.

&&&&&&&&

Faith looked out the window, it was a sunny spring day. April Vacation was coming up soon, then they would return on 26th. Angel walked into the class. He took a seat next to her.

"Um, I think we got of to a bad start," he began, "and I'm sorry for running into you in the hall."

"Hey, cuz' you don't want to talk to her, unless you like that kind of girl," Doyle shouted from across the room.

"What's he talking about?" Angel asked Faith, she shrugged and looked out the window.

"You know the kind of girl, who just to get a rush, cuts herself," Doyle said. Faith pulled down the sleeves of her shirt as her anger rose, she was getting sick of being put down.

"This coming from the guy who gets a high by burying his pain in other people, and doesn't stop to think of what it's doing to them," Faith said.

Doyle looked at her, "Okay, okay you wanna play it that way, okay" Doyle said as class started.

_Please review, I love reviews, please review. Also this chapter was to set up most of the characters and their attitudes._


	4. Chapter 3: Deadly Thoughts

**Chapter 3: Deadly Thoughts**

School had let out an hour ago, and Faith was back home. She was in the bathroom again the door was locked. She had picked up a shard of the beer bottle from the ground and was slowly breaking the flesh. She enjoyed the pain. It was her only escape.

&&&&&&&&

_Excerpt from Faith's Notebook:_

_**Dissension of the Spirit:**_

_**Slowly etching, lightly carving.**_

_**An escape route from my pain.**_

_**Leading towards an ultimate destruction.**_

_**Slowly flowing, lightly breaking.**_

_**Warmth and danger, strive to mend.**_

_**Is this what I have been reduced to?**_

_**Destroying myself slowly, just to leave this world.**_

_**Bleeding myself quickly, but it's not deep enough.**_

_**It's just enough to ease this pain away.**_

_**-End**_

&&&&&&&&

Faith carved an intricate pattern around the tattoo on her right arm. She watched the blood flow, she was reduced to hurting herself, because she was hurting inside. She had no way to ease the pain, no knight in shining armor to save her, no one to worry about her. She had nothing.

&&&&&&&&

_Excerpt from Jonathan's Journal:_

_**April 29:**_

_**Is this really what I have to do? I don't want to. I tried to make them stop. Tried to get them to stop. Asked for help. But nothing. I fear I have no other choice. I think it is the only way. It is the only way...**_

&&&&&&&&

Jonathan always alone, there was Faith, but she wasn't really a friend. Just an ally. Someone dragged into the war, the war them against him. He wrote some more in his journal, it was his private thoughts, his most secret thoughts, his deadliest thoughts. What he wrote in that journal was deadly.

&&&&&&&&

Angel walked into Doyle's house, and immediately headed for his bedroom. Despite Doyle calling his name, he didn't listen. He went into his bedroom and turned the CD player on. He got to doing his homework, but his thoughts drifted away, drifted to Faith. She was pretty, she was dark, she was fun to be around, he liked her attitude, he wanted to get to know her. But she kept pushing him away. He tried to apologize she rejected it. He wouldn't give up though, not yet.

&&&&&&&&

Faith dropped the shard of glass into a shoebox she kept under the sink. In that shoebox was a razor, a switchblade, various knives, a needle, and that shark of beer bottle glass. It was her collection, what her life was based on. All she was good at, all she was meant to do, all she wanted do.

&&&&&&&&

Faith lay in bed, the cuts had stopped bleeding two hours ago. She had forgotten about her homework, the kids, and Angel. Cutting herself made her forget things. She didn't mind though, it's what she did it for. She had given up crying along time ago, whenever she did it her mother would beat her. Making her cry harder thus causing her mother to beat her harder.

&&&&&&&&

_Excerpt from Faith's Notebook:_

_**Tears:**_

_**Crying only makes the pain at worse.**_

_**Tears only cause her to beat me more.**_

_**Every time I shed a tear**_

_**My fear grows**_

_**Fearing if she'll know**_

_**-End**_

_So what do you think of the **Journal** excerpts and **Faith's Notebook **excerpts? Please review._


	5. Chapter 4: Connecting

**Chapter 4: Connecting**

Faith walked into school listening to the comments being thrown at her. 'Just fuels my muse' she thought. She walked up to her locker, opened it, and grabbed some books. More comments were tossed her way, 'tomorrow begins vacation,' she thought, 'just gotta get through this day without killing anyone.'

She walked down the hall and went into the library, she had a study period. She looked around she saw Angel, Cordelia, Gunn, and Wesley. She sat down at a table and took out her notebook, she began writing. She got lost in her thoughts.

&&&&&&&&

_Excerpts from Faith's notebook:_

_**Untitled:**_

_**Look at me , look into my eyes**_

_**Though you won't see inside**_

_**Look through me**_

_**It's all that you can do**_

_**Close your eyes**_

_**Leave this world behind**_

_**Don't try to deceive**_

_**And now your lie has to end**_

_**-End**_

&&&&&&&&

Cordelia walked up behind Faith, she grabbed the notebook, and she looked at it. Faith grabbed at it, she missed.

"Give it back, bitch!" Faith said coldly.

"What think you're a poet?" Cordelia said, "no talent here!"

Faith punched Cordelia across the face, making Cordelia dropped the notebook. She looked at her in disgust, she punched Faith hard in the stomach.

"This is where I draw the line ho!" Faith said as she attacked the brunette bitch in front of her.

Gunn came over and pulled Cordelia away, Angel did the same to Faith. Wesley picked up the black notebook. It was the first time he had ever been let near it, Faith was over protective of it. It had a bunch of heavy metal and punk bands on the cover, it was full black, and showed great wear. Some of the pages fell out as he picked it up, he picked those up.

"Bitch!" Cordelia shouted as Gunn pulled her away, his arms around her waist as she tried to break away.

"Let me go!" Faith shouted at Angel, he did so.

"What the hell is going on here?" Principal Snyder shouted.

"Well…uh," Faith tried to explain.

"Never mind, Faith I'll see you in my office," Snyder shouted.

Faith didn't protest she learned a long time ago that it did no good. Especially if she was right and Cordelia was involved. Faith walked down the halls of Sunnydale High, she could smell the scandal, corruption, blackmail, teachers lusting after students. The school reeked of corruption.

Faith entered the office, she saw Buffy Summers sitting there, blonde hair down to her shoulders. The secretary looked at Faith.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"The principal asked me to come her," she said, false sweetness filling her voice with each word she spoke.

"Sit over there," she said pointing to a seat near Buffy.

Faith took her seat next to Buffy, she crossed her arms, and stared at the wall. The office door opened, Spike walked out, and Buffy went into his office. Faith waited for ten minutes, she was in trouble, she wouldn't be able to get out of it.

&&&&&&&&

Buffy walked out of the office, Snyder called Faith in. She took a seat in his office. He closed the door and sat in his chair behind his desk. The desk that cost most of the schools funding for that school year.

"Faith, I don't want to know what happened. (I coulda' told you that.) All I know is that you've been in a lot of trouble so far this year. (That's all you know? Damn.) But, I can see that you are a good kid. (That's not all you see, now avert your eyes from my thighs.) I just want you to stay out of trouble," and with that Snyder rolled the chair around the desk and placed his hand on Faiths thigh.

"Principal Snyder, please remove your hand from my thigh," Faith said false sweetness filling her voice.

His hand remained on her thigh. "Faith, stay out of trouble, and don't start with Cordelia," Snyder said.

"If you don't take your hand off my thigh, you won't get it back," Faith said coldly. His slipped off her thigh. "Is that all? Can I leave?" Faith asked.

"Yeah, you can leave," Snyder said.

Faith left the office. "Have a nice time jacking off," she thought.

_Last part of this chapter definitely makes this thing a solid **R**. In my opinion anyway. Sorry for not posting for awhile. I won't make any excuses. Just sorry. I feel so bad. Please review._


	6. Chapter 5: A Note

**Chapter 5: A Note**

Faith walked back to the library, she took her seat again. Wesley sat down next to her and handed her, her now falling apart, notebook.

"So get in trouble?" Wesley asked.

"Got molested," Faith replied.

"Again?" Wesley said sarcastically.

Angel walked over and sat down next to Wesley.

"Oh, Faith this is…"

"I know who he is," Faith said.

"This stuff fell out of your notebook," Angel said handing her a cluster of papers. Faith took them and carefully shoved them into her binder.

"So what's with that girl anyway?" Angel asked.

"Queen C.? She thinks she runs the school because her family is loaded," Faith said looking over at Cordelia who was being a drama queen about a scratch on her elbow.

Wesley looked at the clock, it was nearing 8:30. "Class is almost up," he said. Then came the awkward silence until the bell rang.

&&&&&&&&

Faith took her seat in Math class, the bell rung. Mr. Morrison walked up to the chalkboard. His voice was monotone, it always put Faith to sleep. Her eyelids got heavy even though she wasn't tired. She forced her eyes open. It seemed like hours before the bell rang. She got up and went to her next class, unsure if she had homework in that class, besides the only thing she was concentrating on was not falling asleep.

&&&&&&&&

School had let out an hour ago. She took a Walkman out of her backpack and put it on. She listened to it while walking home. All the while humming the lyrics to the songs she was listening to. She got back to her house, and headed for the window that led to her room, she didn't want to see her mother. She fell onto her bed and rested her head on the pillows. She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

&&&&&&&&

Faith awoke, nothing but screaming around her. Everything was dark, no light, she was…floating, all around her screams of pain.

Faith jumped up in bed, it took a lot to scare her, but those screams were so real. She walked into the bathroom and looked at her reflection. She began to think what she was looking at was a lie, and somewhere deep down, there was another her. She shook the thought away.

&&&&&&&&

Angel finished his math homework, he sighed. He hated math, it always got him confused. He rubbed his temples, trying to sooth the headache he always got when he did math. His vision got blurry, he blinked it away.

&&&&&&&&

Faith looked down at the new cut on her left arm, she made the Evanescence logo, and blood poured out of the cut. She washed the cut out, she put the razor back into the shoebox, and hid the shoebox under the sink. She walked back into her bedroom, the pages of her notebook were scattered everywhere. She picked them up, one page fell to the floor, she picked it up it was blank except for a note written on the side, she looked closely at it. It wasn't her handwriting. It was from someone else. She read it:

_Faith, meet me in the park._

She looked it over, there was no signature. She didn't recognize the handwriting. She opened the window and climbed out of it. She walked away from her "home" and walked into the cold dark night.

_What do you people think? Please review. Sorry for not updating for awhile._


	7. Chapter 6: Awkward

**Chapter 6: Awkward**

_Excerpt from Faith's Journal_

_**Why?**_

_A cold breeze blows._

_Night skies shine dim light illuminates._

_Your eyes met mine._

_Why are you here?_

_Why was I called here?_

_Why do you beckon to me?_

_Why did you call me here?_

_Why?_

&&&&&&&&

Faith sat alone, wind blew through the park. She felt a chill, she wrapped her arms around herself to keep warm. She heard footsteps, she disregarded them and looked at the sky illuminating the earth. More wind, she wrapped herself closer to her body.

"Hello," a voice said from behind her. The voice was riddled with a thick Irish accent. It had the same accent as Angels' voice. She turned around expecting to find him but was surprised when it was Doyle.

"What the hell?" Faith said startled.

"Expecting Prince Charming?" Doyle, Faith reached into her back pocket, and pulled out some mace.

"Maybe," Faith said.

"Please, you know that I have to get close to you for that to be affective," he said speaking of the mace.

"Then keep your distance," Faith said threateningly.

"Just came here to talk," Doyle said.

"What about?" Faith replied quickly.

"Angel," he said.

"What about him? And make this quick I have places to be," 'skin to cut' she added in her mind.

"He seems to have taking a liking to you," Doyle said.

Faith raised an eyebrow.

"And this is important why?" Faith asked.

"He likes you more than just a friend," Doyle continued.

"Get to the point," Faith said aggravated.

"I just said it, he likes you more than a friend, as a matter-of-fact, he's attracted to you," Doyle said.

"And you would know…how?" Faith asked sarcasm showing.

"I'm his cousin. DUH!" Doyle said, "I can tell."

"So? That means nothing. And big deal, what am I to do about it?" Faith said.

"Stay away from him, we don't need scum like you with the family," Doyle said.

"We? Who's we? I don't see anyone here but you," Faith said crossing her arms.

"I'm speaking for the family," Doyle replied.

"Oh, really? Do they know this?" she asked.

"Besides the point."

"Oh, really? I think it's right on the point," 'thank you psyche' class,' Faith said in her mind.

"Well, not for you to decide," Doyle said.

"Whatever," Faith said, as she turned away from Doyle.

Doyle ran up to her and grabbed her arm. "Stay away from him," he shouted.

Forgetting the mace she kneed him in the groin. And he went down that easily.

"Oh, that hurt like hell," Doyle groaned from the ground as he watched Faith walk away.


	8. Chapter 7: Provoke Me

**Chapter 7: Provoke Me**

Jonathan walked into the school same as always. Always hoping for a better day then the one before. But it never was, it was always worse. Always.

"Well, well, midget geek walking," Spike shouted.

"Shut up," Jonathan said under his breath.

Spike shoved Jonathan against a locker. "You do best to watch your mouth around me," Spike said in a soft voice so no one else could hear.

**Anger.**

"Okay, dwarf?" Spike said threateningly.

&&&&&&&&

Faith walked down the hall, ignoring what everyone was saying.

"If it isn't the bitch who thinks she can get away with murder," Cordelia yelled.

"Well, if it isn't a bitch who thinks the world is her play thing," Faith called back in the same tone Cordelia used.

Angel walked up beside Faith and looked her in the eye.

"Well?" he said expecting something.

"Well what?" Faith asked playing the fool.

"Did Doyle talk to you?" Angel asked.

"Yeah," Faith said, "and next time you want to talk, meet me in person."

"Sorry, I'm bad at these things," Angel said.

"Talk to me later," Faith said walking away.

&&&&&&&&

The day went by fast. Faith walked out of the school. The sunlight hit her face, she shielded her eyes. She heard some one shouting her name, she turned to find Angel running after her.

"Faith! FAITH! Wait up!" Angel said running towards her.

She couldn't help but giggle, at him screaming to her. By the time he got to her, he was out of breath.

"What?" she asked.

"Do you-do you," he said trying catch his breath, "do you wanna go out tonight?"

Faith decided to play hard to get, "yeah, you see that guy over there, the one in the blazer, no, no, the blue one."

Angel stared at her in complete and utter dumbness, he grabbed her and kissed her on the forehead.

"What time?" she asked.

'Hmm, eight?" Angel said.

"Make it 7:30."

"Done."

&&&&&&&&

Jonathan walked down the hall, holding onto his backpack as if it were someone he loved. Spike tripped him in the hallway. He landed on his stomach. He got back up, and brushed himself off.

Two weeks later...

April 28th…

Vacation was boring for Faith, but having Angel made it better. The school day was almost over. Faith looked at Jonathan, Spike keep annoying him. She could hear Jonathan's' voice rise and fall in a whiny tone each time he said 'stop.' Faith's vision blurred, her head was pounding, and she felt hot.

&&&&&&&&

The last bell rang. Jonathan walked out of class with Spike shoved him into a locker.

"Maybe, next time, you could walk faster and I won't have to do that," Spike said walking away.

'Tomorrow…tomorrow would be better. Tomorrow will be my day.' Jonathan said in his head.

&&&&&&&&

sorry, its been awhile, my computer crashed so I've been busy trying to get it back up and running. I'll update my other stories soon. I promise.


	9. Chapter 8: Thoughtless

**Chapter 8: Thoughtless**

**A/N: This chapter was named after the song Thoughtless by koRn. It is VERY Angsty, and violent. If you don't like violence or angst please do not read. LMAO, I forgot, Xander will be in this chapter as a cameo. Also I'm trying for suspense in this chapter please tell me how I'm doing. (This chapter is basically the basis for my whole story.) WARNING! CHARACTER DEATHS!**

Jonathan walked down the hall. First period had ended. Faith turned around and noticed a strange look on his face. He quickly stepped to his locker and opened. A magazine fell out, Faith picked it up and looked at it. It was about guns and how to use them. Faith eyes Jonathan suspiciously, he gave her a dirty look.

"What?" he asked.

Faith turned the magazine around sowing him the cover in response. Jonathan grabbed it from her.

"Research, my dad wants me to go hunting with him," he said all to quickly and defensively.

"Umm hmm, since when does your dad want you to do anything with him?" Faith asked.

Jonathan threw her another nasty look grabbed his books, shut his locker and walked away.

Time passed slowly for Faith, it seemed like hours, three periods had passed, each 45 minutes, each taking about 14 hours to get through. It was nearing twelve. It was lunchtime, each class went at different times. Faith and Jonathan usually had lunch together, but he wasn't around today.

Angel walked over and sat by Faith, she looked at him and smiled. He leaned over and kissed her. She kissed him back. The lights went out. Faith pulled away and looked around at everybody. Everyone looked confused, no one scared, no one worried. Just confused. Until….

Faith looked around at the direction of the noise. It sounded like…she had never heard that sound before. Angel rested his hand on her shoulder. She turned to face him.

&&&&&&&&

Xander looked around in confusion, a loud noise had come from the hall. He looked towards Spike who starred intently at the door. The sounds of footsteps could be heard outside the door. And screaming. And another one of those loud noises. Then a loud thud.

Spike slowly rose from his seat and walked over to Xander. The teacher didn't notice her eyes were fixated on the door.

"What the hell is going on?" Spike asked.

"How in the hell should I know?" was Xander's whispered response.

"What do you think is going on?" Spike asked.

"Dunno, just keep listening," Xander said in a hushed voice.

&&&&&&&&

Buffy walked down the hall, she saw Jonathan standing there, something was in his hand, he was looking down at something.

"Jonathan?" Buffy asked.

She jumped back when he aimed something at her. She didn't know what it was, but it was dark, creepy, and he was pointing something at her. These three factors never mixed well. She walked backwards as he walked forwards and it became painfully visible what exactly he was holding.

She took another step back.

&&&&&&&&

Another loud sound was heard in the hallway along with a scream.

"What the bloody hell is going on out there?" Spike shouted.

"SPIKE SIT DOWN!" the teacher yelled.

&&&&&&&&

Principal Snyder walked down the hallway. Jonathan just stood there. Looking down at something.

"Chris what's gong on?" Jonathan didn't reply. "Chris?"

"My name…." Jonathan started, Snyder just glared at him. "Is Jonathan."

Jonathan turned around and aimed the gun. Trigger pulled.

&&&&&&&&

Angel sat in the cafeteria holding Faith he kept kissing his neck.

"Ya know, I never had anybody like you," she said locking her arms around him.

"Umm…what do you think is going on?" Angel asked.

"I don't know, HEY! While the teachers are looking the other way, wanna go take a look?" Faith suggested.

Angel waited until the teachers weren't looking then ran to the hall. Angel quickly motioned for Faith to follow. They ran to the stairs and quickly climbed them. Angel chuckled and pulled Faith close to him.

"What if were caught?" he said kissing her.

"It's too late to think about it now," she said pushing him into a wall and claiming him.

They heard a loud noise coming from the hall. Angel looked toward the door.

"What the hell was that?" he said silently and ventured into the hall.

Faith followed him. He motioned for Faith to fall back. She did so obediently. He walked forward slowly. Faith looked confused. Angel grabbed her and ran back into the stairwell.

"What? What is it?" Faith asked nervously.

"Jonathan he-he-" Angel heard footsteps, "run!" he said breathlessly.

He grabbed her hand and they ran up to the bell tower. He looked back but saw no one making an effort to follow them. Angel breathed a sigh of relief.

"What's going on?" Faith asked.

The stair well door slammed. Angel looked and there he was, there was blood on his shirt, and a gun in his right hand.

&&&&&&&&

There's no going back. He had already shot three people, Snyder, Buffy, the janitor. There was no going back. Not now, Angel had seen him, he wanted to spare him and Faith. But Angel had seen him. He would tell, he had no other choice. Angel had seen him; there was no other path to take…but this one. He slowly walked towards the stairs.


	10. Chapter 9: The End Has Come

**Chapter 9: The End Has Come**

**A/N: The chapter is also very angsty and has a little more action. Xander shall appear continuing his cameo. This chapter has violent content. If you are skittish don't read. This chapter was named after Ben Moody's "The End Has Come." I am also changing the layout of Sunnydale High.**

Angel and Faith hid in the bell tower. She looked around at her surroundings. This place was falling apart. Angel listened quietly. He could hear footsteps.

Meanwhile….

Spike looked at them door. The loud noises had stopped. Spike kicked Xander, this caused Xander to look at him.

"I gotta know what's going on," Spike whispered eyeing the back door. "Come on let's go."

Xander didn't resist, he followed Spike quietly. Spike crouched while walking, so he wouldn't attract attention. Spike quietly opened the door, and slipped into the hall, Xander followed.

&&&&&&&&

Angel held Faith close to him. "What the hell is going on?" Faith demanded to know.

Angel listened closely. The footsteps were getting closer. "Angel," Faith said.

"Shut up," he said in a hushed voice, "is there any other way out of here?"

"You're looking at it, what the hell is going on?" Faith asked again.

"Jonathan's got a gun, he's lost it," Angel said, unusually calm.

The footsteps stopped, Angel looked at Faith. Faith looked around the room.

"This way," she said walking quietly over to an old wooden door that was covered in dust.

Angel quickly opened it, and quickly closed it when they got through.

&&&&&&&&

Jonathan was beginning to have second thoughts. He gripped the gun in his hand and turned around. He walked back to the hall. Is anger once again broke him when he saw Spike and Xander standing there. Spike was checking for a pulse on Buffy. He shook his head, it was there, faint, but there. Principal Snyder, on the other hand, didn't have one.

Jonathan aimed the gun at Spike, his hand shook as he contemplated if he should take another life or not. His finger curled around the trigger. Xander looked up and saw Jonathan standing there, the trigger was pulled. Xander pushed Spike out of the way. The bullet hit Xander in the shoulder.

He grabbed his shoulder in pain. Spike looked up but Jonathan was gone.

&&&&&&&&

Too much pain, and suffering, and hurt. He had hurt so many, he played God for an hour. Getting rid of another meaningless life wouldn't hurt anybody. It was time to end the game. He held the gun up to his head, his hand shook violently as a tear fell from his right eye.

He was standing in the library, his last words were a prayer. Then the last bullet was fired.

&&&&&&&&

_Okay, so how did I do?_


	11. Chapter 10: Fade to Black

**Chapter 10: Fade to Black**

&&&&&&&&

**  
**Faith's Notebook:

April 29th, 2005.

What was left? Pain? Blood? Tears? There was nothing left except hurt and agony. Useless blood shed, meaningless hurt and loss. Chaos rained down on everyone that day. The skies were dark as the sirens wailed. Car tires screeched and the sky cried for those who have fallen.

Blood was shed today. What's the point of blood shed? I've begun questioning the point of my own. What's the use? Kill the pain by causing more? Wash the pain away by drowning in blood? Cause pools of blood to cleanse myself in? What's the point? I can't remember what feeling is like; I've made myself numb for so long. And I can't wake myself up.

Too, too numb.

A song is stuck in my head, just keeps bouncing around in the emptiness. Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear. Sealed with lies through so many tears. Lost from within, pursuing the end. I fight for the chance to be lied to again.

Somehow it speaks to me. Moves me, makes feel a little. They'll never see, I'll never be. I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger burning deep inside of me.

&&&&&&&&

Faith put her pen down. She looked at her notebook. Her handwriting was messy, and her notebook was in just as bad shape. She could hear her mother screaming. Something about where her liquor was. She was getting close to Faith's bedroom.

She didn't want this right now, she didn't want her mother yelling at her. She grabbed her backpack shoved some clothes in and climbed out the window carefully and onto the roof. She carefully climbed down the roof shingles. She lost her footing and fell cutting her stomach on the roof. She could hear her mother bitching at the wall.

She touched her stomach and felt blood. She looked at her hand, stained with blood. Her vision blurred. The blood dripped from her hand. Everything was fading to black.

&&&&&&&&

Excerpts from Faith's notebook:

**Goodbye.**

If I say goodbye,  
If I say I love you,  
If I say I need you,  
Which one will I say first?  
Which one will you think is true?  
If I say I love you will you think of me as crazy?  
Or will you welcome me with open arms?  
Will you hold me close?  
Will you say you love me too?

If I lock my arms around your neck,  
Will you take my hand and kiss me to make it better?  
If I look in your eyes and see anything but darkness,  
Will you look into mine and see the same?  
If I say I need you,  
Will you say you need me, too?  
If I say I love you,  
Will you say you love me, too?

And if I fall,  
Will you be there to catch me?  
And if I cry,  
Will you wipe away all of my tears?  
Will you save me as I bleed?

-End

&&&&&&&&

Faith looked at her arm. It was now covered in blood. She could hear her mother screaming.

"Yeah, you deserve to die you little whore," Marjorie shouted.

Faith looked at her stomach and everything went black.

&&&&&&&&

Hehehe sorry, cliff hanger.


	12. Chapter 11: Waking up to Nothing

**Chapter 11: Waking up to Nothing**

Faith opened her eyes and looked at her stomach, the bleeding had stopped, and the blood had dried. She pulled herself to her feet and limped to the porch. She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth in pain. She heard footsteps coming towards her and she looked up to see who it was.

Angel stood before her, his eyes were filled with concern. Her sat beside her, put his arms around her, and pulled her close to him. He kissed her forehead and looked her in the eyes.

"Are you okay? What happened?" Angel asked.

"No, fell from the roof and blacked out for God knows how long," Faith groaned in pain.

"Why the hell were you on the roof?" Angel asked.

"My mother was screaming, I didn't want to hear it. Thought I go see you," Faith groaned again in pain.

"Okay, let's get you out of here," Angel said, helping Faith up, she put her arm around his shoulder.

"How'd ya get here?" Faith asked.

"Hurry it up! I don't got all night you know," Doyle shouted from the car.

"Well, that was convenient," Faith said sarcastically.

"What happened to you?" Doyle asked as Faith got in his car.

"Never mind that, just bring us back home," Angel said.

There was a word she didn't know. "Home" the only one she ever had was the equivalent to hell. The car stopped abruptly outside of a well-lit house…well…it was bigger than your average house, but it wasn't a mansion.

Angel helped Faith into the kitchen, he got out some bandages and some disinfectant. He lifted her shirt a little to see the cut. She grabbed his hand and pushed it away.

"Don't. I can do it myself," she said softly.

She walked into a nearby empty room, and cleaned the wound and used the bandages on it. She walked back out and saw Angel standing there, his eyes never left her. She walked over to him and tried to kiss him, he turned away.

"I-when I found you tonight, I wasn't there by accident, I came over to talk to you. My parents heard about what happened from Doyle's parents. They-uh-wanted me to go back to Ireland. I'm staying until after graduation, then I'm gone," Angel said.

"June 15th," Faith muttered.

"What was that?" Angel asked.

"June 15th," Faith said again, "you're leaving on June 15th?"

"Yes, I think-um-I think we should break up now, it'll be easier this way," Angel said.

"What? Break up-I-no! But you and-and-and I-" Faith stuttered, Angel kissed her to stop her talking.

"I don't want this to happen, I don't want to go back, but I've no other choice," Angel said.

"What-I mean-can't you do something-anything-to stay?" Faith asked, her voice cracking, her eyes watering.

"I've tried everything I could think of, Faith I-I'm sorry," Angel said unsure of what to say next.

Faith felt a twisting sensation in the pit of her stomach, it was stronger than it was ever before. She felt her eyes water even more. She then felt Angel's lips on her. Before she knew it she was in his room, on his bed. She looked in his eyes the same despair was in his as it was in her eyes.

"I-I don't want to hurt you, if you do hurt in anyway, tell me, I'll stop," Angel said, not about what was about to happen but about the cut. That was mutually understood.

He kissed down her neck, and took her shirt off. He saw the cuts on her arms. At least dozen cuts on each arm. He ran his finger along one scar.

"Angel I can-" Faith was stopped when he kissed her arm.

Faith lay there, motionless, her head on Angel's chest, the sound of his breathing lulling her to sleep. The rise and fall of his chest gave her comfort. It was only 9 o'clock, but it felt as if she had been awake for days.

"Angel? You awake?" Faith said.

"I can't sleep," Angel said.

"I can understand why," she said, kissing his arm. "So much for breaking up, eh?"

"I told you before, I want to stay, but…I don't know, it's all getting really complicated," he replied.

"I love you," Faith blurted out without thinking. Angel looked at her in surprise, "guess you don't feel-"

"I love you, too," Faith put her head under Angel's chin when he said this, a sign of affection from her, "but that's not the point. I don't know how I can convince my parents to let me stay."

Angel closed his eyes; he sighed and held Faith closer to him. She laid her arm on his chest, trying to sleep. Angel's breathing now did the opposite it was keeping her awake.

"What don't you come with me?" Angel suggested.

"To Ireland? I don't know. I mean there's nothing important for me here, but I don't think I can leave," Faith said, trying to make up her mind. "I-I better go," she said reaching for her clothes.


End file.
